The designated D...

Un pic de umor:)

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local pub. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night) flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationery for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.

At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it", said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy."

"Give me everything I want and nothing I need."

Consultans are like Prostitutes

H: im underpaid and overworked (like a prostitute)
E:lol
H:consultants are like prostitutes
H:seriously
E:lol
E:why do you say that?
H:You work very odd hours
H:You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy
H:You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money
H:You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room
H:You charge by the hour but your time can be extended
H:You are not proud of what you do
H:Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded
H:It's difficult to have a family
H:You have no job satisfaction
H:If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.
H:You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living
H:People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it
H:Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
H:Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.
H:Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.
H:You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it's not your problem.
H:When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).
H:You are rated on your "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.
H:Even though you might get paid the big bucks, if you are good, and I mean really REALLY good, it's the client who walks away smiling.
Hussain says:
The client always thinks your "cut" of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.
H:When you deduct your "take" from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp
E:lol
E:i hope just that the hotel room is nice
H:haha
H:it is

MARS LAKE : First Proof of Ancient Shores Found

Au fost gasite primele urme ale unui tarm pe Marte.Stiti ce insemana asta?Stiti?Stiti?Inseaman ca acolo e apa,sau a fost cel putin.Deci se poate sa nu fim singurele fiinte inteligente din galaxie,o veste buna!:D

Daca vreti sa citit mai mult mergeti pe pagina la National Geographic
Lectura placuta!

"Give me everything I want and nothing I need."

Gay critics say 'too little, too late' from Obama

Administratia Obama este acuzata ca nu ar fi facut nimic pentru comunitatile LGBT din US.Oameni buni aveti rabdare,omul abia a inceput sa miste cate ceva.Nu vreau sa par ca ii iau apararea- prea mult - dar eu am incredere in omul asta,acum trebuie doar sa avem cu totii rabdare si sa-l lasam sa-si faca treaba.

Daca vreti sa cititi mai mult,aveti aici articolul
http://edition.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/06/17/obama.gay.critics/index.html

"Give me everything I want and nothing I need."